My new approach with my Dad is to keep reminding him that if he had his druthers in life, he would have been a musician. He is coming to grips with the whole idea of not being as good as he once was. And he was holy cow good. I don’t think I’ve ever met another amateur singer who could sight read like him and be consistently tuned on each and every note.
And to reinforce our chats, I’ve come up with a little document that talks about what the doctor said to him in regards to “what to do” in order to help his brain function as much as possible. So far, so good!
Plus, we’ve now added the number of months left until each show to the white board we place in his kitchen every day. Again, so far, so good!
I know the roller coaster will inevitably peak and start to fall again but in the meantime, we’re riding high together and enjoying it.
….and…..It was all working until Saturday morning when he woke up with much confusion. I think he had a bad night actually.
He was desperately unhappy about well…absolutely everything. It was incredibly hard to witness since his sadness was so profound.
My husband and I decided to take the afternoon to go and look at some nearby assisted care facilities. That was hard too but at least we found one that seems quite decent, won’t cost us our own retirement and is very close to us.
We arrived home to a new man. He had decided to be happy and was merrily waiting to tell us. um, what?! He had decided to simply rise up and find some spark and joy. And yup, “Rise Up” is now his new theme song! We were completely amazed.
And it’s lasted. That’s even more amazing. How is he doing this?
Of course, the day shook me and I spent a portion of the middle of the night on my bedroom floor sobbing. My husband was incredibly comforting. Perhaps it was cathartic despite the lack of sleep.
But our little adventures into care facilities reminded me how insane our current health care system is when it comes to looking after our aging population. Oh wait! That’s ALL of us!! Unless you have money of course…like say, someone in government who has control over public purse strings. More on all of that next time!
Today, he said “the more I work on this music, the more I think I can do it and the more I like it!” And yes, that’s the quote of the year!
In the meantime, we live with some trepidation here but also with a newfound sense of joy and an appreciation for any amount of his happiness that comes his way.