(but he hopes to continue on Wednesday afternoons so YAY and you never know…maybe the Christmas music will inspire him to stay…still….I don’t know)
This is my speech that I wrote for me to try to say on Saturday evening when we “retire” my father from over 30 years of service to the community, singing in the choirs and working with me in ways that allowed us to really see each other….
the speech: (it’s a long read – I didn’t edit myself at all…forgive me, it was meant to be read aloud and to honour his 33 years)
Perhaps it is fitting that my father has chosen to retire from our evening choir after a show about “time”.
When Dad and I first started working together in St Albert, he was the conductor and I was the accompanist. We were a team and he was clear with the board that hiring him meant hiring both of us. This was the only way he would consider the job. With his daughter at the piano. I don’t know if this meant anything to me at the time except that I was excited to play for a choir which I hadn’t done for about 2 years.
Dad took an ESL job (teaching English as a second language) at the Mennonite Centre for Newcomers the very next year and I offered to take on the conducting role on an interim basis so that the board could either find someone else the next year or perhaps my father could return.
It didn’t quite work out that way. That year, I brought my father and my uncle in as “ringers” since I needed more bass and tenor to create a better balance. And I didn’t look back. Instead, my father “joined” me the next year and became my assistant conductor, my leader of the basses, my librarian and my occasional violin soloist.
Dad and I started to record voice parts on cassettes within a few years. He did tenor and bass, I did soprano and alto. Dad would practise and get it right for the recording. Me? Not so much. I would either just “back up” the cassette and go again or I would laugh and offer an “oops, sorry not that” and give myself a do-over. My Dad sang straight through songs correctly is what I’m saying.
He also arranged many songs and even composed choral music over the years. In fact, we debuted a cycle of his songs at the Winspear no less. He based them on a little book called “Earth Prayers” which he was much smitten with at the time.
I “used” my Dad to help me choose music over the years. I would give him a big bundle or bring him down to my piano and play through a ton of stuff. And he would help me narrow it all down.
I also “used” my Dad to conduct songs in order to give me a break during a rehearsal or a show. He always chose to conduct the songs that spoke to him…as opposed to say the ones that I would “bop to” in front of the choir. And yes, I now “use” my daughter to conduct and so the circle is unbroken. She carries a bit of me, a bit of my Dad and fair bit of herself in her conducting. Yeah, that’s a whole ‘nuther weepy speech.
My Dad did not always understand or even support all of my choices but our differences perhaps forced us to really figure it out together.
And yes, Dad was very often won over by my choices in the end even though he sometimes started with doubt. The biggest example of course would be Bohemian Rhapsody. My father was not a fan when we started working on this song. But by the end of the term? One of his favorites!
As a result of us having to work together, we… worked together. Does that make sense? We figured it out. Our work forced us to figure out how to work together, how to draw from each other, how to let go of the stuff that didn’t matter, how to learn from one another, how to make music together and how to find another layer of respect for one another. It was not always easy but it was also rewarding and quite lovely a lot of the time.
My father and I share a love of music. We share a keen if not fierce desire to make good music. We have a shared understanding that choral music adds that extra element of community and we both believe strongly in building up community. My Dad often donated sums of money so that I could easily allow people who couldn’t pay the full fee to simply sing without paying the full fee. He even donated money so that folks who otherwise would never have considered it, could go on our “big” tours without breaking their bank.
We did a show a number of years ago of all African pieces. We brought in Wajjo (drummers) and did some readers’ theatre pieces of African folk tales with the 20some songs! I also wrote a little through-line about a girl who follows in her father’s footsteps searching for his wisdom and guidance through desert and jungle as told by the woman she grew up to be….I dedicated the show to my Dad.
I follow in your footsteps Dad. And I thank you for leading the way. I thank you for showing me the truth in music. I thank you for insisting that the music must always be the best it can be. And I thank you for being by my side these past 33 years and supporting my career in music making.
I’m gonna miss you on Monday nights. But if you choose to sing a few Christmas pieces with us in the fall term, I would happily rejoice….we all would!
