me, my dad and dementia #29 – how my Dad rises….or not….

We “retired” Dad on Saturday night. He was much moved by the speeches, the applause, the standing ovation, the card that everyone in the choir signed and the many people who came over to chat with him.

In fact, he was energized by it all. To the point that he got up early the next morning, made his porridge, took his vitamins without us having to remind him, opened his drapes without me doing it for him and was generally very upbeat and happy. Wow.

Fascinating stuff right? Mood matters. But getting him into that positive mood is not always as simple as I would like it to be. In fact, there are times when I can do everything and then some and yet nothing matters to him or should I say it matters not to dementia.

He seems to believe that aging is a curse. I’m not sure I believe that. And when I gave my speech about my Dad to the choir, I realized in fact, that aging is not a curse. Yeah, yeah…my knees hurt more, my previously dislocated shoulder yells at me more, I can’t run stairs anymore and I can’t seem to lose weight anymore like I did in my youth. But what I’ve learned as I’ve aged is way more valuable to me than what I’ve lost as I’ve aged. There is much to be gained in wisdom which I didn’t realize until I gave that speech.

Dad fell asleep while waiting for the choir show to start and I watched him sleeping while sitting in his chair and I thought….good for him! There is no law that says you can’t just sleep when you need it. We don’t stand on ceremony and I certainly don’t stand on formality. So why not let him sleep?

Yes, he woke up and visited with my manager’s wonderful husband and with his daughter-in-law who protects him fiercely. And yes, he enjoyed the show very much! No, he wouldn’t come up to sing the last 4 or 5 songs with us which had been my hope but I quickly discarded my hope and replaced it with his smiling face. That is enough for me.

Of course, he does think (now that he’s happier/more energetic) that he might want to come and sing a few Christmas songs with the Monday night choir in addition to sticking with the Wednesday afternoon choir! Nice.

Sunday though was rough…..very tired, very disoriented, very quiet. So I made him cheer for the Wpg Jets while constantly reminding him that his brother in Wpg is a huge fan. By the time the game ended (after 2 overtimes!), Dad was still awake, he was sold on cheering and thrilled that “his team” had won!

And then on Tuesday, Dad got up early, made his porridge, took his vitamins and waited happily for his new friend to arrive for a visit. They went on a long walk (with some sitting on benches I’m sure) in the wind (but also sunshine) and Dad was happy for the whole rest of the day! amazing what social interaction can do…..

We’re back to quiet, sad and tired on Wednesday. I hope he’ll have a good day on Saturday when we do our Mother Knows Best pop-up 50s diner! He’ll love the old music, the burgers/fries and ice cream…(yup he’ll love that) and I hope he loves the entire feel of the evening. I shall report back….

Thursday sees him up early (!), making breakfast, taking his vitamins, opening his drapes and happy! I definitely think it has something to do with sleep or lack thereof. I have ideas which I will start implementing to see if I can help him get more consistent sleep! I shall report back…..