I sometimes think that all I really need to do for my Dad is get him to simply talk to my Auntie Lil (his older sister). She affects him deeply. What she says is law. And her positive, upbeat mood always makes him more energized and more engaged with the world. She represents and radiates love for him.
I have tried various methods, words, phrases and even food but when sadness reigns, it is incredibly hard to swing him over to the other side. Maybe I need to increase his dosage of the “happy” pill from a half pill to a full pill….hmmm…. I think I’ll just start by adding a magnesium pill at night for now.
Of course, I am trying other odd and interesting things with him…. getting my Dad to lie down on a prickly mat (pressure points) and doing breathing exercises, balance exercises and just talking about what brings him joy.
It doesn’t always work but my Auntie Lil always works. Why is that? I know she was like a mother to him but also a sister. I know she influences him because she rescued him, she raised him and she sacrificed for him. And for his little brother. This is not lost on either of them.
He really really wants to go to Winnipeg but I don’t know if I can send him on his own and I don’t know if my husband and I have time to go with him. I feel badly. I feel guilty. But if he goes on his own there are so many potential problems…..and what if he gets sad while he’s there without me? What if he withdraws into himself with no one there to help draw him back out?
The other day he said “against my better judgement I decided to just go out and walk a lot!”…..um, what?! This is typical Dad throughout his life actually but yes, we’ve done the Epley manuever again (highly recommend) and I think I’ll buy some expensive runners that give him better balance. But really, this is about how he feels, not how his balance is or isn’t. His attitude is what matters. And yes, he had a great walk and was in a great mood when he came back.
The bottom line is that when he gets sad, tired and apathetic, I worry that he may not rise again….especially when it lasts for a few days in a row… I’m worried when it feels longer than usual and I worry about what that means for his future and for ours. (I refer you back to my “worry” post)
OH OH, here’s a little aside – I showed Dad the amount of money that so many members of the choirs had graciously donated for his retirement gift (I’m thinking a stand up garden planter or two) and he said “but I’m not retired from the choir. I plan to sing!” And so I quickly said “a gift to recognize your over 30 years of service to the choral community in St Albert”. He was satisfied. ta da?
In the meantime, I am determined to get him to drink more water! How exactly….I don’t yet know….
I’m hoping the prep for Murder, Music, Mayhem show on June 1st will keep him perky! He’s been practising.
And maybe the Oilers can darn well do their part and make us all feel good – HAH! GO OILERS! But Dad will always take a phone call with his sister over the Oilers….I know, right?!
One Response
I don’t know how it is that there can be such a bond between some siblings and yet not at all between others in the same family. I had the same kind of bond with my sister.
I hope you can find a way to go see Aunt Lil with your Dad. She is a treasure for sure.