Tuesday morning our AHS case worker came for an assessment visit after a lengthy phone call in which we described yet again everything we had already told AHS workers over and over. That’s 4 people in a row now. AHS needs to be seriously overhauled.
The actual visit was interesting. Dad rose to the occasion in a big way and I think someone unaware of how dementia can come and go would absolutely have been “fooled”. He even talked about how much he is missing choir this summer and easily remembered that we have choir on Mon nights and Wed afternoons. He made jokes. He gave the case worker the “grand tour” of his place. He remained engaged and energized throughout the entire visit. In fact, when she first walked in, he thanked her for coming and introduced my husband and I to the case worker!
What?!?!
I had specifically told him to seem “feeble” and “weak” – HAH! And yes, I did tell him that….to my chagrin? Nope. I was determined to get some help and I knew based on the last time that I tried this, they would deny him help if he presented too well. So I semi-joked about it with him and said that anytime he wanted to appear more “feeble”, it would be great. Didn’t happen. Opposite happened.
Now we need his doctor to sign a few forms so we can get a “prescription” for his compression socks and for the doctor to suggest using the Epley Manuever as a way to help with balance (he has already concurred with us on this, but needs to write it down apparently) and possibly check Dad for UTI which of course seems highly unlikely since all of that is working just fine.
The case worker said that some people show a decline when they have a UTI….um….okay…..but what if they don’t have one and just decline? Anyhoo, more appointments is the upshot of it all. I think while I’m at the doc, I’ll have him finally sign the power of attorney that Dad has ready for me so perhaps this appointment can be put to good use. Maybe I’ll also have the doc give us all a Covid shot quickly before the provincial government makes us all start paying through the teeth for them.
In the meantime, our case worker will open a file when we press “go” on asking for a placement facility. I’m loathe to do it too soon since the worry is that they could offer him a place within a few months instead of the full year (which is more likely but not a sure thing) and we’re not quite ready for that. I was thinking 6 months to a year from now does indeed sound about right judging by his decline over the past 3 or 4 months.
But, with all of that said….what if home care actually helps? What if getting this help (which at the moment is no help at all by the way – I’ll explain) means he can stay here longer? hmmm….
“No help” explanation: We are capable of doing a lot of these little things for Dad like giving him his pills at night, making sure he takes his vitamins in the morning and reminding him on his white board to soak his feet (both toes are hurting again by the way….AACK) and checking to see if he’s eaten a lunch, etc etc. But the little things do add up. So home care can come once in a while to give him pills, remind him to soak his feet, put his eye drops in, etc but that doesn’t really help us since we’re still the ones ultimately responsible for absolutely everything.
I did like that they will look for equipment for us! A walker with a seat (in the meantime, I’ll dig out my Mom’s old walker), a high toilet seat with side rails, bed rails, etc. Nice!!
I suppose if we can start to get home care daily and respite weekly, then maybe he can stay here longer but as Dad himself just said to our case worker…”my dementia is a progressive disease so I certainly won’t be getting better”. yup, told you he was in fine form…..
So now we are in limbo while we see how this goes before we move to the next step. Patience is not a virtue of mine so we’ll see how I do – HAH!
