We’ve discovered a lovely rhythm and flow lately in regards to how my husband and I look after my father.
I’ve gotten really good at side stepping some questions from my Dad that I don’t think he needs to hear the answers to….just sayin’. I also have found it easier and easier to not point out anything that reminds him of his loss and to rather point him towards something that engages him. And yup, there are so many ways to answer his repeated questions that I figure, why not use my brain (while I still have it!) to do so.
Patience it turns out is not just key but patience is akin to love. Impatience and frustration can turn so quickly into anger (whether you can recognize it or not in the moment) that I now see impatience as totally useless in my life. That doesn’t mean I no longer feel it or express it but I try not to let it move torwards anger. And we all know that anger and fear are intrinsically linked. Go figure huh?
My Dad has taken recently to saying “thank you dear” when I bring him his dinner. It’s beautiful. It’s love.
I asked him if he’s lonely recently. He looked at me a little blankly so I quickly continued by saying “I remember when Mom died, you said you were often lonely in that year after she passed. Are you now?” He said no, he is no longer lonely. And he said it with great sincerity. I truly believe that is due to all the many human connections he experiences on a weekly basis.
A singer recently sent me a note and here’s a small chunk of it:
“I hope that for those few hours (at choir rehearsals) you, Eric, Bart and Katya find respite in your shared passion for music, and go home tired but rejuvenated and ready to face another week of challenges and joy.”
And yes, yes we do! All of us. So this blog today is a thank you to all of you in all of the choirs that help us rejuvenate and re-find our patience so easily as a direct result. You light my path with so much joy and I am so appreciative of each and every one of you. Human connections indeed.
