Do you remember just a few weeks ago when my father wanted to quit going to the Friday lecture series at our nearby senior centre? Well now he is looking forward with much enthusiasm to learning about Japan! yup…and yes, he loves it!
Sometimes engaging him is exhausting. I need to really work at it. I need to be “up” and highly energetic and find 5 million things to talk about and say all at the same time it seems but all on the same topic. Mustn’t change topics. Sometimes it’s a joy…..when he responds and then leads the conversation for a while! Very cool.
But sometimes, it makes me feel old. The more I look after my Dad, the older I feel. I move more slowly just like him. I speak more slowly and repeat myself a lot for him. I stay on topic for as long as possible just for him. I show him articles, music and photos over and over again just for him. I talk about the weather a lot, just like him. Heck, I’m looking at my leftover boiled water and thinking …. should I fill up a few containers to keep just in case (just like him)?
By now, I catch myself walking slowly when I’m by myself or with my husband. I repeat myself several times over during choir rehearsals in order to make sure my Dad has heard and understood. I age-proof the house and the car and my conversations.
We’re heading to the “magical island” again in mid February where we will walk slowly, sit in the car a lot and repeat ourselves often. But, I have no doubt we will also have a lovely and memorable trip. Only 3 nights this time. Whirlwind! Plus…Il Terrazzo!….just sayin’….we have gone there for at least 7 or 8 years in a row and my Dad always raves about it and always remembers it. Interesting huh?
The question for me is, when will my age suddenly be his age? At what point in my life, will I be him? Believe me, for those of us with dementia in our family history, this is an ongoing and huge concern despite modern medicine telling us it is not genetic. When does it creep up on me? Will I even notice?
In the meantime, Vancouver Island will sustain us – nice. But first….another ingrown toe nail has said hello again so we’re squeezing in quick visit to a podiatrist. We really should get a discount punch card!
No blog next week – tune in the week after to see how we did in Victoria together.
