Sometimes my eyes prick with tears when I hear my Dad’s voice singing in the choirs or when I hear him on our rehearsal recordings. Yeah, go figure huh? But more often than not, his singing makes me proud and makes me grin broadly!
How does he manage to sight sing so effortlessly when other memories escape him? Intriguing.
My Dad literally taught me to sight read at the piano by simply standing over me and counting aloud. I was not allowed to stop but had to keep going even if I made a mistake. Yes, there were tears but now there is much appreciation. Strange stuff huh? Parenting…..
But here’s the really interesting thing about my father. He has incorporated change into his life in many and meaningful, if not unexpected ways. Would he stand over me today and force me to keep playing? No, he would not. He would think that was wrong. Heck, he’s even apologized to me for spanking me when I was a child. That’s pretty cool.
He has changed in more substantive ways too. He thinks differently about the world, about himself, about religion and about relationships. Amazing. He allowed himself to change over the last 30 years in ways that most people, as they age, would not be keen to do. Dad inspires me.
He also really annoys me. I mean really, why can’t he just tell me what he needs rather than me having to find out in a round-a-bout sort of way. If he’s not sleeping well, he should just tell me. If he has a sore toe, he should just tell me. If he’s feeling dizzy, he should just tell me. Otherwise, how can I help him? AACK!
I’m not sure if this is just who my Dad has always been or if this is the dementia. It’s very blurry for me.
It’s not really a learning curve here but rather a constant openness to allowing myself to pivot, adapt and change everything on a dime if necessary. Thank goodness I have 32 years of experience doing exactly this sort of thing! Indeed, working with music, with choirs and a variety of artists has given me this very skill.
The kind of programs and shows I’ve created over the years with literally hundreds of people from all walks of life allow me to quickly find solutions and think outside the box. No, not every time – that would be pretty sweet if it were true but nope, I don’t manage it every single time. Apparently, sometimes I have more to learn – HAH!
My newest lesson I’m trying to learn? To just let some stuff go. Man, this is a hard one for me. But whenever I do embrace the “let it go” motto, everything feels better. When my Dad wears a T Shirt and lightweight jacket on day with a windchill, I will likely not let that go but I can certainly let him wear a big heavy sweater and warm jacket on a day when it’s hot and sunny. He’s often more cold now than warm so I figure, why not?
And that makes me remember how much my Dad loved singing Let It Be (Beatles) over the years. Did the lyric hit home for him? Was it the harmonies and the phrase shapes? Was it the hugely positive message that lives in that song?
What are some songs that speak to you about just letting go of control and allowing things to just be? Here are some to get you started….and me too!
Shake It Off – Taylor Swift
Moonshadow – Cat Stevens
Let It Go – from Frozen
2 Responses
I think the whole “let it go” or “let it be” motto is something we all need to embrace. As I age, my heart is willing but the body says, “no, I don’t think so”. We need to let it go and appreciate the time and space we are in.
Harry Chapin – Let Time Go Lightly
It’s not as on-the-nose as Let it Be but Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield gives me a similar feeling of letting go & releasing what I can’t control. Plus it makes me want to dance & sing along which is always a nice feeling 🙂